Moonlight creeps through my window, sliding under the billowing curtain, caressing me awake. She glides in through the crack beneath the door, beckoning me to witness Her.
I lay in Her glow. Through the darkness of predawn, Her luminous nature is a stunning sight to behold. Before I can go to Her fully, to meet the fullness that She offers to me, I must come fully into myself.
So just as Her light rains down like a gentle touch, my hands find their way to my body. “Here I Am,” whispers my own voice in my head. Flesh and bone, contours and curves, skin and hair.
The matter that is me reminds me of my humanity. Body. Breath. This one, here and now, a vessel for eternal essence, holding a spark of spirit, who has come through with this particular form. I bow to Her as me.
I begin the ritual of self-exploration, of breathing myself into being, of bathing in presence and love sourced from within that calls me from the realms of sleep into wakefulness, most literally and most figuratively.
The call to wake up rings as loud as the full moon glows bright. To live a life in slumber is not what I am here to do. She reminds me of my path over and over, illuminating the way.
Days dawn when there is such pain that I yearn for nothing more than a return to sleep. Grieving and crying, falling and hiding, it feels impossible that She would be pointing me toward such agony on purpose.
Yet by now I have learned. I know to trust Her. If She is pointing me into my pain, there is always a reason. There is treasure to be sought down below the surface, so She guides me in and in and in.
Some mornings find me awash in the sweetest peace, buzzing electric with the excitement of a new dawn, ripe with possibility, filled with promise. But what has She ever really promised me?
Aliveness. Yes. That is Her promise. She promises me only this moment of being with my body and my breath, of being with each sensation that arises, of the chance to be courageous and compassionate enough to choose aliveness.
And so I start my moments and days this way. Alive. Whether rain or shine, without or within, I bring myself home to me and prepare for a visit from She, She who is forever alive in and as me. Blessed, blessed, blessed BE.