Behind Closed Doors: What Happens in a Somatic Coaching Session

“What exactly are we going to do?”

Asked with a mix of trepidation and hopefulness, most all of my clients show up for their first Somatic Coaching session both excited and nervous for the great unknown that lies ahead, which makes a lot of sense.

For starters, many haven’t ever heard of somatics or only have a vague sense of what it’s about. Somatics, derived from the Greek “soma” referring to the wholeness of the body as distinct from, yet related to, the emotions, mind and spirit, has come to encompass various disciplines, healing modalities and approaches to wellness.

All of these place a focus on the body and the felt sense, with the understanding that these are influenced by the heart, mind and spirit – and vice versa – taking a truly holistic approach to supporting people in knowing themselves and unwinding from conditioned ways of being and the affects of trauma.

While somatics is gaining traction in life coaching, various talk therapy modalities and other mainstream disciplines, when it comes to the realms of sex, intimacy and relationships, there is still so much untapped and misunderstood, so it can feel like a doubly mysterious journey to take.

Let me demystify things for you, at least a little!

For starters, we invest time, together, in really clarifying your intentions for this exploration, as well as nurturing rapport, trust and ease between us so that you will feel safe opening into – and sharing from – the terrain of your deepest desires, unspoken fantasies, persistent struggles and unprocessed pain.

So often the reason someone seeks me out – loss of desire, dissonance in their partnership, struggles with orgasm – is not where we end up spending much of our time, not directly anyway. Instead we delve into all that surrounds those frustrations and uncover the parts of you that are calling out to be met, understood and included so that you can be wholly and truly present in and available for your relationships. And in order for that to happen, body, heart and spirit have to be there, not just mind.

In our sessions, which are hands on and clothes on (assuming we’re in person!), you can count on this being the case. Your body will be engaged and included through a wide range of embodiment practices – breathing, moving, sensing, touching – just as your heart will be invited to speak more freely, developing both vocabulary and confidence to honor your emotional experience. The call of your spirit – that which lights you up and fills you with a sense of aliveness and purpose – is an essential ingredient. So too is you imagination by the way, and this we’ll engage in creative ways that have the capacity to surprise and delight.

Somatic sex and intimacy coaching is ultimately a relationship laboratory where you get to explore and experiment in highly experiential ways with the intricacies and many different dynamics of what relationship is about for you. We co-create an authentic connection, one rooted in genuine affection and presence, and it is this connection that becomes the container for healing the hurts and discovering the delights you seek.

Since so many aspects of what alludes or ails us in our intimate lives are rooted in relationship, it stands to reason that the remedy and opportunity for transformation also lies there.

As humans we learn about ourselves through our relationships with others. Having a secure, compassionate, permissive connection with me as your coach allows you to really get know what makes you tick and what you really need and want from your other relationships and to be more honest about what you have to give and where your boundaries lie. By teaching you how to be in relationship with me in mutually satisfying ways, you come away more confident and empowered in your abilities to have mutually satisfying relationships with others.

Somewhere at the intersection of a private workshop and a therapeutic counseling session, coaching offers the opportunity to take a hands-on, embodied approach to cultivating more intimacy with yourself as a profound and essential baseline for sharing true intimacy with others.

In an in-person coaching session you might be wrapped up in a loving, nurturing embrace while giving a voice to the unmet needs of your inner child one day and then roll around and wrestle like wild animals the next. If we’re meeting over video, these same energies can be expressed and attended to, minus the touch between us.

A session could be devoted to learning the art of flirtation and seduction or exploring with power dynamics. You might spend time narrating your most enticing fantasy or practicing giving and receiving different styles of touch and erotic energy. When there is dissonance or conflict, be it differing desires or a communication that ends up triggering you, your partner or I, rather than that rupturing the entire connection, we practice what it is to be deeply committed to generative repair with you so you can have a model for that in all your relationships. All this and more awaits you!

Ultimately, as your coach I am here to be a secure anchor for you to relate with, someone who is genuinely committed to helping you get more of what you want out of life and relationships. I will give you candid feedback just as readily as I’ll be tender with your tender parts or get your juices flowing because that is part of how we learn and grow. Our relationship about helping you to cultivate skills and confidence, through direct, embodied experience, that enable you to show up in your Erotic Wholeness in all of your relationships.

Curious about what happens in Whole Bodywork sessions? Get all the juicy the details here.


Erotic Wholeness Guide

I believe that each of us tending to our personal erotic liberation is an essential contribution to our collective liberation.

My journey began as a precocious child who loved to dance, move, touch and speak her mind boldly. I once thought I’d become a lawyer and spent more than a decade building a successful corporate career early in my adult life only to find my heart calling for something radically different. That call led me to blaze a path across the terrain of sexuality, somatics, social justice and soul.

Inspiration and guidance have come to me from many sources, including the potent voices of the Black intersectional feminist movement, the pancultural wisdom of many earth-based traditions and powerful modalities such as Somatic Experiencing and Sexological Bodywork.

I’m deeply honored to serve and inspire in the ways I do.

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This guide is here to introduce you to the practice of Mindful Masturbation Meditation as a means of deepening intimacy with yourself and coming more alive in all aspects of your life. So yes, I mean your sex life, but also so much more!

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