The Body of Desire

These bodies of ours are full of desire. Longing and yearning are among our most natural states of being. They are the engines that propel us forward and animate our lives. In this essential quality we are one and the same as our more-than-human kin.

Just as a flower is called by an unstoppable force to grow in the direction of sunlight and a tap root burrows down deep to the nourishment that lives in the earth below; just as a bear settles in to hibernate and so many birds migrate toward warmer climes for winter, we as creatures of the natural world are driven by desires that must be met if we are to live.

Our survival instincts often show themselves as desire. A thirst that must be quenched. A hunger that must be sated. All of these arising in a body at once incredibly resilient and incredibly vulnerable that must be regulated to certain temperatures, protected from certain circumstances, nurtured in certain ways if we are to survive.

And so too it is with our intimate desires. The deep longing to be met by another who sees the full spectrum of who we feel ourselves to be. The pulsing need to be touched, to bring your body close to the bodies of animals of our very same kind. The intense fire that burns as lust when in the presence of a lover. These are natural impulses, as natural as that flower growing toward the sunlight and the bear in its cave.

So if we take the time to plant our gardens in just the right way with the exact amounts of water and light needed for their flourishing, why would we do any less with our own sweet selves as far too many so often do? Why do we starve ourselves of the nourishment we need to survive and to thrive? Why do we work so hard to negate and suppress our desires?

It turns out that many of us have very good reasons why, or at least very deeply entrenched reasons why. Too often we've been shown it is not safe to give space to our desires. We've suffered the disappointment and heartache of not being met or being taken advantage of or abused because of them. For many, we simply don't know what it is we truly long for. We have so skillfully convinced ourselves that the screen we're projecting our desire onto is the thing/person we actually want or that the desires of another are more important than our own that we've forgotten to dip down below the surface and inquire deeply with our true yearning.

Cultivating an intimate relationship with our very own body of desire is perhaps the most precious and radical act of love we can engage in. Unpacking all that stands in the way of this intimacy is the journey of a lifetime for many. Wading out beyond the shallows and plunging deep into the depths of this vast unknown is my happy place and a place I feel so honored to guide others toward.

I want to give you permission to desire. I want to give you permission to be in your body. I want to give you permission to feel safe enough to express yourself fully and receive that which you yearn for. Do you dare to do the same? To give your own sweet self this permission? To learn what it truly takes to support it?