In a certain light, some might say I’ve been a sex and intimacy coach for most of my life. Precocious, passionate and provocative as I was, even as a young teen my friends often sought me out to talk about the most intimate parts of themselves, and that continued well into adulthood, even before I realized this was my calling.
Despite that early enthusiasm for ecstasy and the erotic, I took a long and winding road to really find myself, a road that probably passed through some terrain remarkably similar to the one you’re navigating! I built a successful corporate career, took vows with a wonderful partner, bought a home and swiftly ticked off the list of all the other trappings of what a good life is "supposed to look like". It looked good, but it didn't always feel good.
Any of that sound like familiar territory to you?
When what was supposed to work well didn't work for me, I started down a different path. I didn't necessarily know it at the time, but what I was starting to do was follow feeling. I traveled from the marriage lane to the divorce lane, then through the single lane and the dating lane. I tried many an innovative way to add spice to my sex life in some moments, simplicity in others. I wondered what all the fuss was about and what all the effort was actually for. I felt deeply met by some people in some ways but didn’t know how to get all of what I wanted. And just when I felt like throwing in the towel altogether, I tapped into the most powerful, transformational force I've ever known in my life: The force that is generated when sex is no longer about performing or pleasing another and when intimacy is expanded beyond the bedroom to a baseline for living life.
What I learned has been strongly influenced by the experiences of my own personal relating. I've also embarked on a path that has encompassed training as a certified Sexological Bodyworker, a Somatica sex, intimacy and relationship coach, pursuing extensive study in both classical and modern tantra lineages, and a focus on various embodiment and trauma-remediation modalities. All this while actually getting up close and often hands on with countless bodies has taught me that following feeling is the one and only path to pleasure. Yet you'd be amazed, as I was, at how little we actually know about feeling! And if we can't fully feel, we can't fully love, whether our own self or another. If we're not loving, we're not happy, since loving is what we're made for. It's that simple.
Love is not a something that happens in a Hallmark card, nor does it often look like what you see on a Hollywood screen. Love isn’t something outside of ourselves and it’s definitely not solely dependent on relationship with another. Love isn’t inherently easy, yet it’s not all that difficult either once you take the time to understand it. And therein lies the trouble most of us encounter! We don’t know what we don’t know about love, about sex, about relating intimately with others. We don't know what we don't know about our bodies and what it is to actually feel them. We aren’t given very many skills and tools, and yet we move about assuming we’ll magically know it all.
Love is as dynamic, delicious and diverse as each one of us, and it lives in our bodies. It is rich, nuanced and full of surprises. And your journey is best taken with a guide if you’re serious about wanting to really get to know what love is all about for you. For these reasons, I offer a somatic, body-based approach to helping people of all genders, whether individually or with your partner(s), discover who they truly are and what they really want in the realms of intimacy, sexuality and relationship. I invite you to read what others have to say about working with me if you’re curious.
In our experiential relationship laboratory, we’ll co-create scenarios for you to actually embody your learning. Feel what it’s like to open up to new levels of intimacy, to find a voice for the desires that have gone unspoken, to hold the whole of you as sacred. Explore what love means to you, and finally have the satisfaction you’ve yearned for in your sex life and relationships.
All that and more awaits you. Let’s journey together. . .
In loving service,
Schedule your free exploration call today!