Pleasure Principles for a Turned On Life

Join me for a little experiment, won’t you? Read the following and then put it into practice. . .

Let your eyes drift away from the screen land on something nearby that sparks your curiosity or evokes a sense of beauty or wonder in you.

As you take in your chosen focus, letting your eyes feast on every last detail, bring some awareness to the flow of your breath as it moves in and out of your body.

And speaking of your body, offer it a little loving. Adjusting to your level of ability, invite spontaneous movement to unfurl through your spine, limbs and joints as your body allows and encourage your hands to bring the presence of touch somewhere that desires it.

Then notice how and what you feel. Pause. Let stillness find you. Bring awareness to the state of your heart and mind as well as to what’s stirring on the level of sensation.

This practice, which can be done in a moment’s time or drawn out as long as you so desire, is the foundational principle of pleasure: slow down and pay attention.

When we rush through our lives, one day blurring into the next, barely stopping to notice as the seasons change all around us, as feelings and sensations constantly signal to us from within, we might as well be hanging a Do Not Enter sign on our front door and asking the deepest, sweetest flow of life to keep out.

Pleasure simply cannot come in when we’re moving at warp speed, unable to notice the subtleties of life.

Once we slow down and pay attention, we can begin to notice where joy and delight live for us. These are not necessarily universal experiences, so that makes it all the more important to become an expert in your own pleasure, as well as the pleasure of those closest to you if you want vibrant relationships.

A great place to begin is through each of the five senses. What stimulates your senses in a way the you genuinely enjoy? Make a game out of exploring more and more of what evokes pleasure in you and yours, knowing that it’s equally valuable to learn what does not.

Beyond the senses, consider the energetic frequencies that delight you most. I absolutely adore being in the energy of play, for example. Igniting a sense of feisty innocence as I’m laughing and romping and rolling about is always a pleasure for me.

Playfulness might tickle your fancy. Or it could be that you enjoy the energy of serenity (think a beautiful decorated home or a quiet outdoor landscape) or the feel of the mysterious (being surprised by a lover, adventuring somewhere unknown without a plan). Experiencing an adrenaline rush (maybe partaking of some extreme sport) or relishing in being pampered (soaking in a warm spring or bath) might be your path to pleasure.

This list could go on and on! The options abound and there’s no right or wrong when it comes to what pleases you, nor is there a limit to what combination of pleasures you might immerse yourself in.

What matters is learning what your path – or very likely pathS – to pleasure are and following them regularly. And it also matters that you learn how to listen, feel and sense where your limits are because yes, it’s entirely possible to have too much of a good thing or to have moments when even that which generally pleases you might feel unwelcome. It’s important to stop when you feel complete, regardless of whether it meets any other standard of completeness, and to honor others with that same respect.

These pleasure principles are key to living a turned on life. That encompasses your sex life to be sure yet it also expands to every other facet as well. Knowing your path to pleasure and following it often is integral to your experience of Erotic Wholeness, and it is that state of being that provides the key to your fullest expression of life.


Erotic Wholeness Guide

I believe that each of us tending to our personal erotic liberation is an essential contribution to our collective liberation.

My journey began as a precocious child who loved to dance, move, touch and speak her mind boldly. I once thought I’d become a lawyer and spent more than a decade building a successful corporate career early in my adult life only to find my heart calling for something radically different. That call led me to blaze a path across the terrain of sexuality, somatics, social justice and soul.

Inspiration and guidance have come to me from many sources, including the potent voices of the Black intersectional feminist movement, the pancultural wisdom of many earth-based traditions and powerful modalities such as Somatic Experiencing and Sexological Bodywork.

I’m deeply honored to serve and inspire in the ways I do.

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This guide is here to introduce you to the practice of Mindful Masturbation Meditation as a means of deepening intimacy with yourself and coming more alive in all aspects of your life. So yes, I mean your sex life, but also so much more!

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