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It's My Pleasure

a ritual retreat placing you and your pleasure at the center

Oakland, California | February 11-14, 2027

Are you feeling distant from your authentic desires? Do you struggle to name what you want in intimate connections? Wondering what actually turns you on and lights you up in this stage of life?

It’s time to find out what your pleasure truly is and awaken new dimensions of your erotic nature!

Welcome to It's My Pleasure

A one-of-a-kind intimately sized retreat for women who are hungry for a more expansive, innovative, satisfying path to sensual, sexual, erotic and relational pleasure.

Perhaps you’re amidst midlife hormonal shifts. Maybe you’ve recently experienced the end of a significant relationship or kids fledging the nest. It could simply and profoundly be that now is the moment you are ready to confidently and honestly connect with your pleasure.

Over the course of 4 days and 3 nights, you’ll be guided through a progressive ritual that weaves somatic explorations with heartfelt inquiry and sharing, all designed to support you in releasing the scripts of old and writing a new story of what truly gives you pleasure, informed by direct experience and authentic desire!

The weekend builds to a climax with ADORATA – a private soiree of sensual delight. During this one-of-a-kind experience each guest will get to immerse themselves in custom tailored 1:1 pleasure sessions facilitated by a curated team of vetted expert practitioners. This will be your chance to embrace your desires as you explore a wide array of delights, with the support of our team and the warmth of the group holding you through it all.

Come nestle into a stunning Oakland mansion where all your creature comforts will be tended and prepare for an unparalleled level of self intimacy and deep delight this Valentine’s Weekend.

The Pleasure & Permission Portal You've Been Seeking

to claim your erotic birthright

You’ve lived enough life to realize that performative sex, people pleasing and suppression of your desire aren’t working for you, yet you feel stumped on what to do about it.
Maybe you’ve oriented to sensual pleasure as a luxury that you can’t afford or something that just isn’t available to you while simultaneously craving more joy and connection.
Perhaps years of going along to get along in a long-term relationship or prolonged periods of sexlessness have you feeling so far from your turn-on that it seems you’ll never find it again.
Maybe you're on the other side of a relationship that shaped who you thought you were and the pleasure that used to make sense doesn't translate anymore. You're not starting from scratch. You're starting from yourself, quite possibly for the first time.
You've read the books. Listened to the podcasts. Said all the right things about desire and worthiness, maybe even in your therapist's office. And still there's a gap. Between the woman who can explain her turn-on and the one who's actually turned on.

from The club that no woman really wants to be in to the club that changes everything. . .

It wasn’t your plan, yet you, like far too many, have found yourself sitting at a crossroads: in theory you get that your pleasure matters, you’re open to transformation, yet you have no idea how to make it happen. Or you’ve tried a few things and they haven’t quite stuck. Or the guidance you’ve gotten just didn’t resonate.

We feel you, dear woman!

And feeling is what this is all about. Feeling, sensing and embodying is the path to your pleasure. Because knowing is simply not enough. Embodiment holds the key to your Erotic Wholeness, the state of being where you are readily connected to your creativity and your appetites as well as your boundaries and needs. In this state you can explore and experiment, learning what delights you as well as what doesn’t, gaining confidence, skill and the lived experience to place pleasure at the center of your life and relationships, whether once again or for the first time ever.

It’s My Pleasure offers abundant permission, not just for your pleasure, but your power as well. The kind of grounded, centered power that fosters deeper trust in relationships, whether that’s the relationship you’re in with your precious self or whomever else you choose. The kind of power that gives rise to the vulnerable, experimental, intimate explorations that expand your notions of what pleasure can be and just how much satisfaction you can feel.

Step in, and find out who you are and what becomes possible when you dare to claim your pleasure and liberate your Eros. Do this for yourself, for those you hold dear and for the good of our collective!

Prepare To Be Wowed!

throughout the weekend you’ll explore. . .

Come as you are, release what’s no longer resonant and discover your present pleasure.

You will leave radically rejuvenated, powerfully inspired and ready to move through life led by your desires!

General Schedule

Thursday, February 11

Arrive 3-5pm
Opening session 5-6:30pm
Dinner 6:30-7:30pm
Optional evening activity or rest 7:30-10pm

Friday, February 12

Morning movement 8-9am
Breakfast 9-10am
Session 10:30am-1:30pm
Lunch 1:30-2:30pm
Session 3-6pm
Dinner 6:30-8pm
Optional evening activity or rest 8-10pm

Saturday, February 13

Breakfast 8-9am
Session 9am-12pm
Lunch 12:30-1pm
Session 1:30-3pm
Soiree preparations 3-6pm
Sensual Dinner 6:30-8pm
Adorata Pleasure Soiree 8pm-12am

Sunday, February 14

Breakfast 9-10am
Session 10:30am-1pm
Lunch 1-2pm
Closing 2:30-4pm
- Depart 4-5:30pm

There will be a virtual gathering prior to the retreat so you can get acquainted with others who are attending and ease your arrival.

Your participation in It’s My Pleasure also includes a 1:1 integration session with Darshana or Misha and supportive resources offered on the other side of our weekend so you can carry the goodness forward.

If you wish to add more 1:1 sessions with either Darshana or Misha, you are warmly welcome to coordinate those directly.

The Space That’ll Hold Us

The House of the Open Heart is a magnificent Spanish-style mansion set in the Oakland Hills. Our home for 4 days features a three-story main house with 5 bedrooms, 4.5 bathrooms, architecturally stunning living & dining rooms, family/billiard room, den, eat-in kitchen, and several office nooks & passthroughs. The multiple bridge views throughout the home are spectacular and range from the Oakland Zoo’s gondolas to San Francisco and Mt. Tamalpais.

The sleeping spaces are comfortably appointed without pretense, and options include several private rooms and one shared space for sleepover vibes. Our private chef will prepare locally-sourced, organic fare to feed our souls and bellies alike. And both the outdoor spaces on the property and nearby wilderness will play a role in holding and inspiring our experience.

Investing In Your Pleasure

We’re pleased to offer several different accommodation options, on a first come, first served basis.

Select your preferred available sleeping set-up and you’ll be directed to either make a 25% deposit or pay in full to secure your spot.

Sleepover Vibes

Dorm style space for up to 6 people. fUTON mATS. shared bath. if you prefer & weather permits, camping outdoors is also possible.

$2,500

Queen Bee Suite

This is private, beautifully appointed room includes a queen bed & a massive private bath that is surely fit for royalty. Can be occupied solo or by 2 friends

$3,200 pp

Queens Quarters

There are 2 lovely private rooms, each with a queen bed, that share a bath. perfect for those who want a bit of space for themselves or to share with a friend.

$3,100 pp

Den of Delight

TUCKED IN THE FURTHEST REACHES OF THE CASA, THIS COZY SPACE OFFERS QUIET & PRIVACY WITH a FUTON MAT-STYLE BED and a sofa. perfect for 1 person or 2 friends.

$3,000 pp

If opting for a payment plan, your balance will be due in full 30 days prior to the retreat.

Payments are non-refundable given the intimate size of the retreat. You are welcome to transfer your spot to someone else in the event you cannot attend. In certain circumstances, credit toward a future retreat or 1:1 work may be arranged.

Want to chat with us before deciding? Reach out to info@darshanaavila.com and we will happily answer any lingering questions you may have.

Meet Your Hostesses & Guides

Darshana Avila is an Erotic Wholeness Guide, Pleasure Activist and Lover of The Wild.

Best known for her groundbreaking, hands-on, whole person somatic healing seen on Netflix’s Sex, Love & goop, she is profoundly passionate about helping women and AFAB folks live, love and lead from their deepest pleasure and power.

Darshan’s body of work, Erotic Wholeness, weaves together trauma informed, culturally sensitive, pleasure-centric wisdom through modalities including but not limited to Sexological Bodywork, Somatic Experiencing, parts work and conscious dance.

When she’s not holding transformational space for her clients and delivering potent transmissions on podcasts, summits and stages alike, you’ll find her romping around the forest, swirling on a dance floor or lost in multiple books at the once.

Misha Bonaventura is a Sex & Relationship Coach, Consent Culture Pioneer and Producer of Transformational Spaces

Best known for co-producing Bonobo Network with innovative work in accountability and consent and now leading SoulPlay Festival as Executive Producer, she is deeply passionate about helping people and communities build real consent culture, move through conflict with honesty and heart, and create more of the pleasure and connection they actually want. She loves teaching classes like Sexual Adulting or Slut Secure.

She brings Somatica, Co-Active Coaching, and years of Nonviolent Communication to helping people love, connect and repair with more courage and less armor.

When she’s not holding space in her practice, you’ll find her snuggling her cat Tiga, plotting her next beautiful environment, or laughing way too loud at her own jokes.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I know if this is a fit for my intersections of identity?

It’s My Pleasure is a welcoming space designed to center the experiences of cis-women. If you are a trans-woman or AFAB non-binary person yet feel comfortable in and drawn to such an environment, c’mon in. Whatever your sexual or spiritual orientation, race or ethnic background, the door is open. We imagine most who join us will be in their 40s-60s yet that is not to say those younger or older aren’t warmly invited.

For those who require different physical accommodations, given the nature of the event and the fact that the venue is not ADA compliant, please reach out to info@darshanaavila.com so we can determine whether or not we can make this work for you.

Real Talk: How intersectionally informed is this space?

Let’s start with who we are.

Darshana and Misha are white cis women with mostly able bodies and middle class privilege. We’re pleasure activists, in the lineage of adrienne maree brown’s Pleasure Activism, and forever students of the culture-building wisdom that is Black intersectional feminism. We believe pleasure is a birthright. We also know it hasn’t been handed out equally.

We each bring years of trauma-informed, culturally sensitive, consent-centered work, including both 1:1 and group space-holding for diverse clients and communities.

We are warmly receptive to being given feedback, being called in, making aligned adjustments where needed, learning and growing as we de-center a world of whiteness, thinness, youth, and the male perspective.

And we know this isn’t enough.

There’s a good chance the retreat attendees will be predominantly white. The house has stairs. The weekend centers cis women’s experience. The investment is real. We acknowledge that self awareness and a warm welcome don’t fix the realities of barriers to entry, yet failing to do so would be dishonest and a disservice to everyone involved, so we begin here.

In order to bring more equity to It’s My Pleasure we have reserved 3 partial scholarships for women of the global majority. We are open to discussing payment plan alternatives for anyone who needs that, and we are excited to partner with a diverse practitioner team for the Adorata portion of the weekend.

If you’re wondering whether you’ll feel at home here, please lean in and let’s explore that together. Email info@darshanaavila.com and one of us will get on a call with you before you decide. We sincerely want to have that conversation with you.

I’m single. Is this for me?

Absolutely! It’s My Pleasure is truly all about you and the intimacy you have with yourself. Whether or not you have a romantic or sexual relationship at the moment doesn’t change all the pleasure you get to experience and the embodied learning you’ll carry with you.

I’m partnered. Is this for me?

Totally! While It’s My Pleasure is here to help you focus first on a greater depth of intimacy with yourself, it also provides loads of inspiration and information that you can bring to your partnered connection(s).

Just how sexy will we be getting?

Great question! Expect plenty of sexiness, yet to also expand your idea of what “sexy” encompasses. We’re here to explore pleasure and eroticism. Your sexual energy and expressions are welcome, wanted and likely to be an integral part of your experience. Everything we offer will be rooted in a foundation of clear, informed, enthusiastic consent which means you always have a choice to modulate how much or how little you participate.

While no direct sexual activity will be taking place, there will be touch, sensuality, erotic expression and potential nudity. Again, you are not obligated to do – or even to witness – anything that feels out of bounds for you, yet our sincere hope is that since you’re choosing to be part of this experience to expand your edges, the container feels safe and supportive enough for you to do exactly that.

All About Adorata, Your Pleasure Soiree

Step into a highly curated sensual playground for the evening and get ready to learn more about what pleasures delight you through direct experience. Saturday evening our group will be treated to a one-of-a-kind embodied erotic smorgasbord. Think sexy party vibes meets experiential workshop.

Darshana and Misha have tapped their extensive network and called in a delightful group of skilled practitioners to share their gifts with you. Offerings will range from partner dancing to sensual massage, exploring power dynamics to experiencing sensation play, being showered with words of praise to being waited on hand and foot, just to name a few of the possibilities.

Each woman will have the opportunity to indulge in 2 personalized 1:1 Adorata sessions throughout the night. In between, there will be ample space and encouragement for all manner of play, movement, connection and indulgence, as well as full permission to rest in whatever ways your body, heart and spirit desire.

A word about trauma healing and personal experience in a group field

We live in a culture where very few women can honestly say they aren’t carrying some degree of trauma. Yet if you are newly on the path of understanding and healing yours, you may be better served to seek 1:1 support and experiences before stepping into a group container such as this.

While It’s My Pleasure offers a trauma informed, culturally sensitive container, it is not group therapy. While there is absolutely space and encouragement for your personal processes to unfold, there will not always be focused 1:1 support available should you need that in the midst of a group process.

Please take time to consider your genuine availability to be part of a collective space that is actively exploring and embodying the many facets of eroticism, sexuality and relating that It’s My Pleasure encompasses. This means not just your ability to receive what’s on offer, but to also contribute to the group field and have enough internal resource to regulate yourself if needed.

If you wish to discuss this in greater detail, please email info@darshanaavila.com and one of us will be in touch.

Will my body be up for all that's in store?

Physical Activity: Invitations range from choosing seating that meets your comfort needs during group sharing, meals and conversational space to participating in movement and somatic practices easily adapted to a wide range of fitness levels. During Adorata, the peak of our weekend, you’ll be invited to choose from a range of experiences with varying degrees of physicality including but not limited to partnering dancing, sensual bodywork, sensation and impact play and other delights.

Accessibility: The home we’ll be in has 3 floors accessed via stairs and is not ADA compliant. We may be able to support certain other accommodations. Please reach out to info@darshanaavila.com to determine what’s possible for your particular needs.

Where Will We Be Exactly?

In a private home in Oakland, CA that is located approximately 15 minutes from the Oakland airport and 40 minutes from the San Francisco airport. The event will almost entirely take place on the property and in the event of an excursion transportation will be provided.

Fill Me In On Important Travel Details

Arrival is between 3-5pm on Thursday, February 11 and we’ll begin promptly at 5pm. If you’re flying or driving from out of the area, plan to arrive by 2pm PST at the latest to give yourself plenty of time.

We’ll wrap up at 4pm on Sunday, February 14 so if you’re flying, plan to depart after 6:30/7pm.

Should you need help coordinating flights, rides, etc, please contact info@darshanaavila.com and we’ll be more than happy to help.

What Happens If My Plans Change?

We understand that life throws curveballs sometimes, just as we hope you understand it takes a lot to put together such an intimately-sized, generously-provisioned retreat.
Payments are non-refundable in light of that. You are welcome to transfer your spot to someone else in the event you cannot attend. We will assist with that if there are people on the waitlist, but that is not a guarantee. In certain circumstances, credit toward a future retreat or 1:1 work may be arranged.

I Need A Recap Of What's Included

An intimately sized (8-12 people) retreat led by Darshana and Misha, offering you their direct guidance, connection to a beautiful community and some delightful surprises you’ll have to show up to see
4 days and 3 nights accommodation in a beautiful, private Oakland Hills home
Organic, chef-prepared meals tailored to a range of dietary preferences: snacks and dinner on Thursday, all meals and snacks on Friday and Saturday, breakfast, lunch and snacks on Sunday
Group-wide preparation and 1:1 integration sessions via Zoom to support greater ease of connection and carrying the goodness forward

Still holding questions? Prefer to connect before making a decision? Let’s chat!

Drop a line to info@darshanaavila.com and we’ll be happy to find a time that works.