Where The Wild Things Are

Wild is a certain sort of four-letter word.

You know what I’m talking about, right?

To refer to someone or something as wild carries a connotation that, depending on the context and the speaker, can pack a negative and even degrading punch.

And yet, how many of us feel drawn to the notion of “our wildest dreams coming true” or letting ourselves “go totally wild” whether we’re referring to a sexual context or any other?

I sure do!

In his book “The Practice of the Wild” poet Gary Snyder gives a fabulous list that is the exact opposite of the dictionary examples and definitions of wild, talking about what wild actually IS rather than what it isn’t, which is sadly the way it’s often done. Here are a few of my favorites among Snyder’s examples of WILD:

Of individuals — following local custom, style, and etiquette without concern for the standards of the metropolis . . . Unintimidated, self-reliant, independent. “Proud and free.” (juxtaposed with the standard unrestrained, insubordinate, licentious, loose)

Of behavior — fiercely resisting any oppression, confinement or exploitation. Far-out, outrageous, “bad”, admirable. ((juxtaposed with the standard violent, destructive, cruel, unruly)

Of behavior — artless, free, spontaneous, unconditioned. Expressive, physical, openly sexual, ecstatic. (juxtaposed with the standard artless, free, spontaneous as if they were bad)

If being WILD is wrong then I don’t wanna be right!

Connecting to a sense of our wildness is a essential to our wholeness, our full expression, our vitality. It’s fair to say that wildness is our birthright since we are of the very same stuff of the earth and stars that all the other wild things are.

So why do we set ourselves apart? Why do we judge and suppress our wildness? Or wear it like a rebel badge? Why not embrace our wildness?

Once upon a time someone taught us to do this. We learned to tame the unintimidated, outrageous, expressive, physical essence of ourselves in order to fit in. It kept us safe. It ensured a certain measure of belonging.

But exactly who and what have we inadvertently pledged our belonging to ? To a family system without the capacity to see, hold and love us for who we truly are? To a broader culture built on fear, shame and domination? To intimate relationships modeled on externalized conditioning and “normal” standards?

As adults we get to ask these deep questions and meet the depth of the answers. We get to choose for ourselves who and what we want to belong to.

And if you, like me, choose to belong first and foremost to the skin you’re in and the earth you walk upon, then [re]claiming your wildness is an essential step along that path.

I make no promises about this path, but I can assure you it is brimming with potentiality and possibility. To embrace and allow your wildness to shine through you is to say yes to life in a way that perhaps you’ve never done before and it’s a sweet sort of danger that lies ahead when you do.

So I offer you an invitation and a challenge: every day for the next week (and longer if you dare!) ask yourself “What Would Wildness Do?”

Ask yourself when waking, when you reach a choice point in your day, when you’re wondering what to do about the difficult feelings your chewing on, when your body needs some unnamed something and in any other moment.

Live into the question “What Would Wildness Do?” and let it have its way with you. Let it work you and lead you and surprise you.

Maybe the wisdom of your wildness wants you to dance more, touch more, sleep more. Maybe the wisdom of your wildness knows you need more solitude, more intimacy, more nourishment.

Let that ecstatic, unintimidated, outrageous, expressive, physical essence that pulses in the deep core of your being rise up and fill out your limbs, color your cheeks, shine through your eyes and see what that does for your sense of belonging.

Then see if maybe, just maybe, you find a sense of place among the wild things that you never knew before, a place that truly feels like home.


Erotic Wholeness Guide

I believe that each of us tending to our personal erotic liberation is an essential contribution to our collective liberation.

My journey began as a precocious child who loved to dance, move, touch and speak her mind boldly. I once thought I’d become a lawyer and spent more than a decade building a successful corporate career early in my adult life only to find my heart calling for something radically different. That call led me to blaze a path across the terrain of sexuality, somatics, social justice and soul.

Inspiration and guidance have come to me from many sources, including the potent voices of the Black intersectional feminist movement, the pancultural wisdom of many earth-based traditions and powerful modalities such as Somatic Experiencing and Sexological Bodywork.

I’m deeply honored to serve and inspire in the ways I do.

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