If I had a dollar for everyone who tells me they just don’t make time to tend to their pleasure, I’d be a millionaire! But this is a story about someone who did make the time. I don’t think me becoming a millionaire could make me as happy as receiving her email did.
The following words are from Jean Franzblau, someone who I adore and admire, and have gotten permission from to share with you. . .
A few years back, I had the good luck to serve as an intimacy coordinator on the Netflix series, Sex, Love and Goop. This was a dream job because I got to witness highly respected sex educators work with clients. One of those experts was Darshana Avila.
I felt safe with Darshana right away. I could sense that she works from a place of deep integrity. I was moved by what she accomplished with her clients on the show: tears, transformation, joy, hope.
When the series wrapped, I followed Darshana’s work – sometimes attending her virtual events. But one of her offerings, I wasn’t ready for yet. It was a free e-book called Touch Yourself.
Getting real with you, I’ll share that my solo sexual practice has been most often perfunctory in a “get her done” efficient manner. Darshana would suggest emphatically that there was more to learn if one slowed down and applied curiosity and compassion. She provided instructions on how to do just that. I downloaded the PDF, put it in a file, and forgot about it. Many months went by.
When I wake in the morning, I tend to have my most wise thoughts of the day. I place a pen and journal on my night table before bed so that I can capture them. One morning in October, I got an urgent feeling, an inner demand that I must begin doing some deep inner work. I also understood that the doorway “in” needed to be erotic.
I remembered Darshana’s e-book and opened it. This would be the portal.
I also started a Google Doc. I would use Darshana’s words to help me get into my body. And I would write to process what happened. Here were some insights from that first session:
“I didn’t want to be sexual at all. I was sad…The most important moment was not bypassing my sadness…”
“It occurs to me that there are so many images I’ve seen that I’ve been told are sexy. Force fed through another person’s lens…I must discover what’s real for me. What looks good to my eyes.”
“I am surprised I traveled so far in one 45 minute experience. Thank god. May I please try this again? May I please give this to myself again!”
Yes, dear reader, I did give myself that experience again. I’ve used Darshana’s e-book for forty-eight more days. And – woo boy – a lot has happened.
Yes, dear reader, I did give myself that experience again. I’ve used Darshana’s e-book for forty-eight more days. And – woo boy – a lot has happened.
Jean’s generous account isn’t actually unique, even if it is incredibly special. Thank you, dear Jean!
Time and time again, when the women and AFAB enbys I support turn toward the truth of who and how they are as erotic beings and make space for their full expressions, I witness profound revelations, transformations and possibilities arise.
Emotions that have been buried under are finally released.
Scripts and standards that were always inauthentic are surrendered.
Sex stops being a largely visual performance and becomes a deeply visceral experience.
Ways of moving through the world and living life change as sense of self deepens and settles.
Yes, my dear, this experience is available to YOU.
Like I said, Jean and her experience may be very special, but they are not unique.
I’m on a mission to help more and more of us wake up to the potential that lays in wait within us.
To claim the peace, pleasure and power that are our birthright.
To lead from our embodied wisdom and wide open hearts.
If you want that for yourself, reach my way. There is simply no time like the present to claim your Erotic Wholeness.
